the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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