Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
