I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
