Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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