it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
