im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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