I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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