The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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