So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
