I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
