what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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