Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
