she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
