After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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