At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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