we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
