There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
