even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
