return my video game
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
