Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
