the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
