You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
