Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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