i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
