If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?