you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already