LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
