Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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