ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
