You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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