no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
