Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
