Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
