I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
