Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
