you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
