I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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