Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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