i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
