Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
