he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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