Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Couch. On fire.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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