I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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