when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
