Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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