Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
