I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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