She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
