So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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