I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
