My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize