It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
