no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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