are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize