I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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