I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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