I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
