Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
