If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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