So drunk its hurt
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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