Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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