I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
